My fellow Americans … and apparently a bunch of German people according to my traffic data. It is with great sadness that I announce the end of Unibrow effective today. The short of the story is that the bastards at Uber.com tried to sell Unibrow behind my back after they went out of business so I have decided to smear a stinking pile of diarrhea-infested booger vomit poop back in their face by killing Unibrow so they can’t do anything with it in the future. The good news is the party of grossly innapropriate top 10’s, funny videos and photos of hot chicks will continue on my new  and improved site Manofest which I just launched on www.manofest.com! Manofest will spawn a new era of the de-pussification of the male species by making sure that things like picking yout butt and sniffing your finger in public become acceptable once again. Basically what I’m trying to say is that Manofest already makes Unibrow look like a little bitch. So
hurry up and get over to WWW.MANOFEST.COM!

I now leave Unibrow with Steam’s awesomely craptastic rendition of “Na Na Hey Hey Kiss Them Goodbye.”

Today’s Unibrow Hot Chickie of the Day is Brazilian model Daniella Sarahyba. Daniella is best known for appearing in the 2005, 2006, 2007 and 2008 Sports Illustrated swimsuit issues where she wore a lot of body paint that left little to the imagination. Daniella tells Unibrow that she loves to eat steak in bed and that most of her farts can be best characterized as “question mark farts.”

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October 13th, 2008

Today’s links that will make your butt explode include Brazilian babe soup, Suzanne Carlson’s Giant Chesticles and a little kid on a bike loses a battle with a pole.

How To Make Brazilian Babe Soup (Double Viking)

Teen Charged With DUI For Smoking Weed Two Weeks Earlier? (COED Magazine)

Suzanne Carlson Has Giant Chest Thingamerbobbers (Gorillamask)

The Great Depression Vs. The New Depression (Holy Taco)

Little Kid On A Bike Vs. A Pole (EJB.com)

Singapore’s Sexiest Women (FHM)

Stacy Keibler Shows Off Her Ass-ets (Uncoached)

The Worst Best Man Ever (Camel Tap)

Inside John McCain’s Brain (Comedy.com)

Jamie Lynn Spears Is Like All Pregnant Again Y’all (Drunken Stepfather)

Kee Your Drinks Cold With Ice Bullets (Asylum)

Kristen Bell Looking Mighty Fine (Bastardly)

Stripper Fights! (Afrojacks)

Diora Baird Is Delectable (Kontraband)

Pat Sajak Sucks At Wheel Of Fortune (College Humor)

During the course of my illustrious farting career there have been two key moments. The first was a massive fart that was so huge it woke me up in the middle of the night and scared my dog out of the bed. The second was a dutch oven football Sunday fart that I attempted to air out which caused the person sitting next to me to gag and almost throw up off of my balcony. Hence my new goal in life. If one of my farts can cause somebody to puke, I can die a happy man. Either that a fart that causes the skin to peel off of someone’s face.

Back when I was a kid, Darth Vader was on of the scariest dudes I had ever encountered. The heavy breathing, the cool voice and he would cut off your hand if you tried to cross him. Then the prequels came out and we found out he was nothing more than a whiny little bitch who let his love for some chick ruin his life. It’s almost like finding out Santa Claus is gay. Which is still a possibility.

Today’s Unibrow Hot Chickie of the Day is swimsuit model, Brooklyn Decker. Brooklyn is best known for appearing in Sports Illustrated and for being the full-time fornication partner of tennis star Andy Roddick. Brooklyn tells Unibrow that Andy refers to her boobs as “40C-Love” and that over 93% of her farts are “really squeaky.”

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October 10th, 2008

Today’s links that will make your butt explode include bears gone wild on Wall Street with hot chicks, Angelina Jolie breastfeeding and Holy Taco’s tribute to the naughty nurse.

The Most Manly Drinking Games (Double Viking)

Miss COED: Frederica Fontana (COED Magazine)

Jessica Burciaga Does A Crotchy Good (Hottest Girls Of Myspace)

Unicycle Moron Gets What He Deserves (Camel Tap)

Bears Gone Wild On Wall Street (Comedy.com)

Angelina Jolie Goes Breasts Feeding (Drunken Stepfather)

Mugshot Hotties Smile For The Camera (Asylum)

Nothing Wrong With A Little Gisele Bundchen (Bastardly)

Holy Taco’s Tribute To The Naughty Nurse (Holy Taco)

Fernanda Taveras Is One Hot Tamale (Gorillamask)

FHM’s Wonderful World Of Women (FHM)

4 Bad Fast Food Tattoo Ideas (Afrojacks)

Drunk Hands Can Wander To Wonderful Places (EJB.com)

What Is The Internet? (Kontraband)

Guy Pees On Electric Fence (College Humor)

Now I have to warn you that this video is supposedly on the list of things that if you watch it and laugh, you’ll  go to Hell. Well, I must say if that’s the case than the qualifications for going to Hell are really lame which would make Hell incredibly lame so why worry about it? And I don’t see why going to Hell is that bad in the first place. It sounds to me like it’s basically Las Vegas for people who go to Heaven. It’s really hot, it can be a really long and painful experience and there’s lots of fire-breathing hookers there. I’ve been to Vegas five times in my life and that pretty much sums it up for me. So go ahead and laugh at Skeeter the narcoleptic dog and I’ll see you in Hell in about 53. Years. I’ll be at the Crazy Hell Horse waiting for you.